Divorcé

Divorce

He’s dreamy. He’s funny. He’s the love of my life.
Always and forever.

She’d say those things time and time again. She would look at me with those sparking green eyes. Her long black hair was intoxicating. I was hypnotized by her rose petal perfume. Every single time.

I showed her what a real man was. I baked her cookies when she was curled up in bed crying for hours. I carried her into the sweeping waves of the ocean and showed her the joys of the deep blue salty sea. I held her hand tightly as we swung upside-down on flashy carnival rides. I wiped the leftover ketchup from the corners of her perfect mouth. I dressed her in that sparkling name-brand emerald strapless gown. I gave her an evening of ball room dancing and rings and cake. They celebrated US. I married that girl.

Months passed and her long black hair didn’t sway in the wind anymore. I swear she stopped wearing perfume all together. Her bold green eyes seemed to turn grey and her stare became empty and blank. Why wouldn’t she eat my warm- baked cookies anymore? She told me she actually hated flashy carnival rides. She no longer wanted to swim in the salty blue ocean with me.

She says she’s going to go with her girlfriends, and she just needs space to clear her head. Her arms are full of duffle bags and she’s disappearing down the driveway.

Photo and writing are original pieces by Amelia with AStormyEden Photography.

ferriswheel

No matter where you may be at in this very moment in your life, find joy.

Find love. Find happiness. Search out peace and comfort. To live each day without these, life would be so dark. Bring color into your world.

A Ferris wheel turns. It turns round and round, and you ride up and down. You see the horizon, you then see only what is in front of you. Whether you are high or low, there is always something to see. Follow that. Search out the best parts of what you see. Capture it. Go with it. Embrace it.

Next time you ride a ferris wheel, think of this: Move forward always. Feel that wind against your face, fly forward, around and around. Enjoy the ride.

Picture taken by me at Santa Monica Pier, CA.

My Grandmother’s Hands

Her hands are old today, older than the ocean I suppose.
You see, her hands, to where they’ve been we’ll never really know.
Her hands sure have been deep into soil in the ground,
Her hands have clapped along to so many different sounds.
Her hands have served this very country.
Her hands have told many stories quite bluntly.
Her hands have crossed the states, from east to west.
Her hands have seen the worst, and the very best.
Her hands have carried babies and nourished them while they grow.
Her hands have seen the depths of the dark, don’t you know?
Her hands have given aid to the world we live in.
Her hands have prayed to our God in heaven.
Her hands may seem old to you or to me,
But her hands have lived a life we only wish we could see.

Memory

This is my (almost) 80 year old grandmother. She suffers from Dementia.

I am currently her caregiver.

She is slowly slipping away, taking her memories with her one at a time.

Each day becomes a tiny bit more difficult. Each day I cry a little bit harder.

There have been wonderful lucid days, and I cherish those. She has told me just how proud she is that I am finally chasing my dream. That I am finally following my heart and opening my spirit, and that I finally picked up a camera. She compliments each photo I show her with grace. She sparkles, she lights up, she shows me love.

This strong Veteran that I call my grandmother is my world. She is my other half, my soul mate. She raised me. She’s wiped away my tears, and kissed my scrapes. She’s disciplined me, taught me my worth and value.

As her memory fades, I try to catch and keep what she tells me. I try to make sure her legacy will carry on. There are days that she’s just not there. She seems gone. Those days I will capture her beautiful soul through photographs. This I promise you. I will also capture the good moments, where grandma is still there. I want to hold these forever.

Sometimes a moment cannot be described in words. Sometimes emotions cannot be explained.

Sometimes a photo can capture what we can not say in words.

Photography is beauty indescribable. Sorrow untouchable. Joy incomprehensible.  Life unexplained.

Photography is a moment in time that will never come back being caught in still shot.

Photography is a memory.

Our Memory.

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse”

“And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?”

-Fix You by Coldplay-

In just the click of a button, you can capture what one day can be forgotten. What cannot be replaced. You can freeze that emotion or moment. You can keep a memory alive, always.

When you capture a shot and reflect on it far later, you may realize everything in that picture has changed. The background may have been torn down, or built upon. The subject in the picture may be someone completely different or no longer with us. But this memory you have, is still alive. It’s right there in the photograph you have captured.

This is why I believe photography is essential in every culture today. Necessary for each and everyone out there. We hold onto emotions. We hold onto memories. We are always changing, yet still the same. Though the complex file cabinets of our minds hold an abundance of memories for us, in time those may fade. Or simply disappear. No matter the moment: happy, sad, disastrous, glorious, or just plain ol’ regular…I believe capturing all of these is of great value. We can pass the memories in our heads down to the next generation, and the next, and so forth. They can live through our photographs. They can understand our struggles and accomplishments better. They can see our raw emotions. They can connect to us.

Imagine if we had photographs of every ancestor of ours? Imagine if we understood our bloodline better through captured still shots of their lives? Though photography itself was not completely introduced until the early-mid 1800’s, there has always been art of some form. Hieroglyphics. Paintings. Sketching. Sculptures. Written stories. Something left behind to give us a glimpse into the lives of those before us many, many years ago. Imagine having photographs of them throughout their lives? What would that be like for you?

So, here I tell you, from the bottom of my heart: no matter the situation- just live in it  CAPTURE IT it. Tears. Laughter. Beauty. Struggle. Success. Failure. Love.

Let it not be forgotten.

Love At First Sight

Do you believe? Believe in love at first sight? The age-old tale of falling madly, deeply, and wholeheartedly in love at the very first glance? Can it be true? Can your whole world change in just one instant and your heart is taken forever?

It seems too far off sometimes, doesn’t it? The magic, the glory, and the insanity of love at first sight belongs in a fairy tale book on the shelf of some young lad’s southern home next to her mason jar of lightnin’ bugs and teddy bears.

But, what if it were true?

I have fallen in love at first sight, many times. Many ways. Quite a few people/things have captured my heart. FOREVER. My husband, my kids, and photography.

The moment I bought myself my starter DSLR camera, I drove that baby home and unwrapped her…and then it happened: I fell madly in love. I placed her into my hands and I walked into my backyard by the fruit trees and there our love story began. You see, I’ve dreamed of my “knight in shining armor” Photography all of my life. I’ve pictured our lives together for over 20 years. I’m devoted to photography. Capturing still shots gives me butterflies in my soul, still to this day. I feel safe, joyful, happy, and passionate. I feel fulfilled. I can entirely be myself. I am complete.

You see, I do believe in love at first sight. Falling in love can mean so many different things… but it takes great effort, commitment, and passion. A very deep passion that comes from within our souls, hearts, and our minds. Once you have unlocked love, you will never be the same. The feeling of being in love is irreplaceable.

Exist in love. Be in love. Love what you do. Love others. Love big things, small things. Never stop sharing love with this world.

What is your love story?

My Rock

Looking back at old photos, I ran across this precious one.

You see, how I met my husband was a whirlwind of an adventure! Our paths in life truly crossed for a reason. He literally walked in the door, and I whispered (in front of my boyfriend at the time) “I’m going to marry that guy one day…”

He has been the backbone I’ve always needed. He has swept me off the floor, dusted me off, and carried me through some of the hardest roads I’ve been on in my adult life.

Early on in our dating years, he would take me to this quiet spot in Dana Point, CA (we married there years later) and we would just go and think. We didn’t need to talk. Just being there together recharged our souls. He taught me early on to quietly choose a rock from the beach, cast all my worries and fears and disappointments into this rock and after praying, throw it as hard as I can into the ocean and release myself from the sadness. He would tell me that the rock is now in a great big ocean being taken care of by it’s own Creator. This is something we still do to this day when times get tough. We don’t even have to speak a word to each other…we just go.

This picture was taken in June of 2014 when times were getting very difficult. When all seemed to be falling apart. When I made the decision to fully pursue my dream- photography. My Rock, my love, my soul mate, I want to thank you for being my biggest supporter. My greatest source of encouragement. My best friend. Let’s chase dreams together, always. I’ll never stop loving you because a love like ours never grows old.

“Put your hand in mine, and we will do together what we cannot do alone.”

A dream I’ve Always Dreamed Of

How do I begin to even talk about this gigantic dream of mine?

First, what is a dream?

1dream

noun, often attributive \ˈdrēm\

: a series of thoughts, visions, or feelings that happen during sleep

: an idea or vision that is created in your imagination and that is not real

: something that you have wanted very much to do, be, or have for a long time

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I’ve definitely fought many battles in my 30 years. Many. I’ve taken the road more traveled, less traveled, never traveled. But, somehow, my life’s journeys, trails and paths all lead to the very same place. Every time.

My dream. A dream I’ve been dreaming since I can remember. A dream from way back when! I may have veered off the “chosen path” a few million times, granted the path was dark most of the time, anyways! I’m quite distracted by lights and shiny things, so let’s just say I have been distracted in life a few times. Mind you, the roads I’ve chosen in my life have been beautiful, intriguing, horrifying, lonely, abundant, confusing, joyful, and sorrowful, just to name a few. But, like I said, somehow I end up right back here. In this same place. In this dream. This very dream that I thought for far too many years was nothing but that- A DREAM. Impossible. Not my reality. Too out of this world. Unattainable. Impractical. Inaccessible.

My dream goes like this: I am here, with a delicate camera in my hands, freezing moments in time with each click. Capturing people, places, things, so they will never be forgotten. I am looking at this precious life with each breath through a viewfinder. I am exchanging lenses as I see fit for the current situation. I may zoom in a little closer or fade and blur out the background. I may go all macro on some teeny tiny bugs. I’m in control here. I call the shots. Literally. Golden hours, light trails, newborns, landscapes, silky skin, smiles, tears, zooming automobiles, painting with light, FREEZING TIME! What an amazing dream. A dream abundant in life, love, prosperity, and happiness. A dream I have always dreamed.

But only…this is not a dream. Today this is my life. Today I AM living my dream. I may just be starting to tell the tale of this wild dream, but I have begun! Dreaming and living can be the same thing. You create your dreams, you live out your dreams. You take the steps and paths to get to that very dream. You make the choices necessary. You live out what you thought was impossible.

May I forever be this joyful in what I do. May I forever be humbled by the power of a camera, and the things I can accomplish with it. May I forever pursue this dream of mine and chase this story right before me. May I always be teachable in this craft. May I continue to write my life through a lens and freeze those moments in time, always.

May I forever share this dream with the world.